Is There A Process Of Grieving?
Grieving is our natural means of responding to loss. Grief is the pain you experience when you lose something that or someone who is an essential part of your life.
Several instances of mourning for the loss of someone or something are as follows:
- a breakup with someone you have a relationship with - you lost your job - you missed the opportunity to pursue your dream - you learn that someone very close to you is diagnosed with a deadly disease - the hospital test results came in and your physician informs you that you are suffering from a serious illness - your spouse wants a divorce - you destroyed the trust of your best friend - a pet passes away - the person you love dies suddenly
The scenarios enumerated earlier can all cause a person to go through a time of anguish. Of all the examples mentioned earlier, we experience the most intense anguish if a loved one - be this a son or daughter, a parent, or a spouse - passes away. Nothing of this world can remove the emptiness that is created by their death.
Our whole lives, we may have made the individuals who died the core of our own universe. So life is now never the same as it were when our loved ones were still with us. We grieve for what has been taken from us. Yet, in grieving, we have the promise of being able to heal our pains and strengthen our lives to move forward once more.
There are no hard and fast instructions on how we must grieve. Yet we must opt for safe ways to channel grief, which can encourage the healing that we need after experiencing loss.
It is common presumption that grief should be expressed by crying our hearts out every time we remember our loved ones who passed away. Crying is not the only sign that we are mourning the loss of a loved one. A person could be stoic yet deep inside the waves of strong emotions are roiling.
Grieving does not have a time limit, such as the "recommended" time of just 1 year. The span of the grieving process will be different for one individual compared with another. No one has to be forced and "get over" the grief that they are feeling. Time heals all pains and wounds.
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What Is The Importance Of Having Funerals?
When a person we cherish passes away so suddenly, our initial reactions would be shock and disbelief. Usually, it is very tough to come to terms with the demise of a loved one.
Then, when the shock has worn off, it is replaced by deep sorrow. It can be very hard to create decisions, most especially with how to go about with the funeral arrangements for their departed loved one.
The devastating pain one experiences after losing a loved one through death can incapacitate the person from making preparations for an appropriate funeral service for their departed loved ones.
Sometimes, well-meaning relatives and friends will manage the job of preparing the funeral service. Often, these people, well-intentioned though they are, would want to hurry the process of having the funeral and burying the body so as to not cause the bereaved more suffering. Usually, funerals prepared this way fails to give due honor to the life of the one who passed away.
Funeral directors recognize a grieving family's vulnerability at the time of demise of their loved ones. This is a delicate moment, where a grieving family's emotions will be at their rawest. It is the bereaved's final opportunity to pay their respects to someone they cherish.
In order to have a efficient flow of the funeral service that is to the preference of the bereaved family, the funeral director must closely consult with the bereaved. Then, it is in the hands of the funeral director to see to it that the bereaved family's specifications are followed and that the remembrance of the life of the deceased will be as decent and as dignified as possible.
Funeral directors and funeral houses could also tak care of the particulars of fulfilling the state or country requirements if the bereaved or deceased had a special injunction for the burial (such as a sea burial, cremation, etc.).
For the bereaved family, the funeral is a way through which they can express their sorrow over the passing away of their loved ones. A funeral service is part of the course of healing the pain of loss when someone we love passes away.
The funeral is a way of saying goodbye and yet, also, a way of keeping the memories of those we love close to our hearts.
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Creating A Meaningful Tribute To A Departed Loved One
All the time, it is never effortless to quickly come to terms with the demise of a beloved. At this time, there is nothing that can replace the shared memories or the role that a departed loved one had in your life.
The seasons continue changing even after your beloved has been laid to rest, and you find yourself picking up the fragmented pieces of your life. You grieve for your loss - a wonderful person who was once an important part of your being now dead.
Grieving can quickly overcome the life of an individual who has lost a loved one. Taking action is 1 of the manners by which to come to terms with the sorrow that threatens to drown an individual. In so doing, the life of the loved one who has departed shall still be remembered and honored.
Making a memorial for a departed loved one is an action that helps you face your own sorrow. Almost all cultures have a manner of honoring the dead. It offers those who are in grief a seed of solace, support and comfort.
Several ways of commemorating the life of the departed is the grave marker, specially engraved with loving messages from you; works of art or musical compositions personally created by you can also be endearing tokens of commemoration; or you could hold a gathering at a particular place with a select friends who can give their best memories of the beloved who has passed away - with laughing and tears all around.
Sorrowing due to the death of a loved one is a very personal matter. Be tender with yourself and permit yourself different ways of dealing with your feelings. If you are an artist, you may express the sadness you are going through by painting, writing prose and poems or by creating your own music.
At this vulnerable period in your life, it is also a good thing to be around family and friends who can provide you support as you process your bereavement and sorrow.
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Customs And Rituals Followed In A Buddhist Funeral
Buddhist funeral rites and rituals are filled with religious significance for Buddhists. Devout Buddhists believe that the soul is given liberation from the worldly cycle of life and death from the deceased's mortal body during the funeral services and is allowed to reach a new level and move to a greater existence.
The Buddhist funeral services which conclude with cremation in most cases, are done by Buddhist monks with the help of the bereaved family. When a person has passed away, Buddhist monks read sutras from scriptures to liberate the good energies from the soul. To avoid any decay in case of delayed cremation, the deceased's body is prepared carefully while the religious chanting is being performed. The body is bathed and laid to rest in a coffin along with incense sticks, candles, flowers and a photograph of the deceased person.
The Abhidharma, a holy Buddhist text is read daily by visiting monks during the funeral period even when the cremation is delayed to accommodate the visitors from distant places.
The Buddhist monks finish the final rites on the day of the funeral and the head priest gives a speech recounting the noble deeds and actions carried out by the deceased and comforting the bereaved family members and friends. The Pansakula, an important ritual that is expected to pass on blessings and positive energies to the departed's soul is carried out during the final chanting while a white cloth is being wrapped around the coffin.
Prior to cremation, a member of the family or the nearest kin is requested to make a short speech about the deceased person. A light meal for all the visitors is organized after the Buddhist funeral rituals and the cremation is carried out.
Although some variations in rituals can be seen, these are the general ritualistic procedures carried out during funeral service by followers in Thailand, Tibet, China and many other countries, where a huge number of Buddhists live.
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Functions Of An Undertaker In A Funeral Service
Undertakers are also known as funeral directors and after the family of the deceased and the clergy, they are the most significant persons to take care of the funeral service. These individuals are assigned the duty of arranging the whole funeral, managing all the related issues as well. Undertakers have to stay prepared for job at any hour of the day and any day of the year without a lapse, as they have an emergency job.
In the wake of such a huge loss, the bereaved family may not be able to take fast decisions regarding the service and final disposition of the body. An undertaker is often required to take such decisions. His responsibilities include deciding the specific time, venue, and manner in which the funeral service will be organised. Moreover, the undertaker assists you in coming to terms with your loss, as he is by your side and organises the entire funeral, allowing you to reflect upon your immense love and respect for the departed person.
The first step in planning any funeral service is to decide the time, place and date of the funeral service, so that the same can be communicated to friends and family. After this is finalised, the undertaker assists you in bringing the deceased to the funeral site or to the place where he or she is to be finally laid to rest. In case of a burial service, the appropriate coffin in which the body is to be laid is often selected by the undertaker.
The undertaker handles every aspect of the funeral service, including decoration with flowers, hearse, luncheon, priests, choristers, ashes and headstone, and any other detail that should be focused upon. All arrangements are made by the undertaker after discussing it with the family to make sure that the deceased is truly treated with regard.
Finally, some undertakers also help in appropriate embalming and transportation of the body if required, and in planning and arranging for the funeral service in another country if the person has died abroad.
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The Significance Of Buddhist Funeral Rituals
The basic teachings of the Buddha form the crux of the Buddhist religion which is the main religion in many parts of the world today. Buddhism entails quest for the Ultimate Truth as well as a spirit of compassion and true love for every living being.
These basic principles of Buddhism are evident in the rites practised in a Buddhist Funeral. After the death of a person in a Buddhist family, some rituals have to be followed in order to make sure that the deceased's soul is elevated to a higher stage of life after death. The positive energies of the dead are evoked to pray and wish the best for the deceased's life cycle beyond this birth.
The first task in funeral rituals is that of giving a traditional wash to the body. The second stage entails presence of monks, who chant from religious scriptures and thereby aid the deceased in finding liberation. The monks read out those teachings of Lord Buddha that talk about the importance of practising mercy and kindness. The body is meanwhile prepared for the final rites. The relatives normally keep some money in the casket along with the deceased. This is for helping the deceased to pay and wade across the River of Three Hells.
The casket is then put before the altar at home for friends and relatives to pay their respects. The relatives and friends offer condolences to the dead person's family, while the attendees pray for his soul. Priests who carry out the rites continue to recite the appropriate sutras. Once the chanting is complete, people bow before the altar to pay their final regards. The family members then thank the attendees for sharing their sorrow by distributing gifts to them.
Once these rituals are over, the family can decide to bury or cremate the deceased based on their family beliefs. The rites and rituals are a way of bringing peace to the family members of the departed as they know their prayers are aimed at elevating the status of the deceased in his life after death.
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Christian Funeral Service – Importance And Rituals
For a god-fearing Christian, a funeral service is a celebration of the soul's journey into eternal life hereafter. It is because of this precise reason that such services are very spirited, as they strongly assert the belief that the deceased has found an eternal abode in the House of God.
Christianity perceives death as an entry into new life, wherein the soul is freed from the world of pain to the world of everlasting bliss. That the soul is enjoying the bliss of heaven and is residing with God Himself is a relieving thought that absorbs the severity of the shock that death brings to the family members. The Christian funeral rituals are conducted with these beliefs and feelings.
Generally, a priest is the prime official at a Christian funeral ceremony. The funeral service generally is conducted at the church which the deceased visited regularly. Though the service does not have a casket usually, but when it is being held inside a funeral home, casket is generally present. Public viewing of the deceased's body is generally not found in a conventional Christian funeral ceremony.
The funeral ceremony is more of a memorial, in which the programmes begin with chanting of hymns, a vocalist, and readings from the Holy Scriptures. Then the priest gives a message and the people join in with a mass prayer.
Next comes the time of contemplation and sharing grief by family and friends, when the people gathered express their feelings about the deceased and tell how the person has influenced them and has left a deep impression. Some people also opt for doing a slideshow of pictures of the deceased or play a video recording from the life of the departed.
The last leg of the service is the serving of food at a fellowship reception conducted usually inside the church itself. A graveside service is generally not included, though some people do opt for that too.
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The Right Casket Can Be Your Respect For The Deceased
Death is usually followed by overwhelming sorrow and distress, leaving family and friends inconsolable and sentimentally overwhelmed by the departure of a loved one. However, you still have to make arrangements for the funeral service and the most critical thing that you would need is a casket.
Choosing a suitable casket is quite difficult, as you would want to purchase a good product at the correct price when you are just not in a mental state to bargain. When the departed's religious or social beliefs has certain requirements for the casket or the departed himself has made his tastes known in this respect, then the selection of a casket becomes much easier.
Many casket options come in a range of sizes, styles, shapes, and accordingly differing prices. You will have to identify whether you want a burial casket or a funeral casket. While the funeral casket is meant for the deceased's body to be seen during the memorial service, the burial casket is typically only suitable for burial purposes.
Caskets are available in a range of materials such as metal, fibre, wood and marble. Wooden caskets, which are the most traditional ones, are available in a wide range of wood types, namely mahogany, maple, oak, and so on. Polished to perfection, wooden caskets are of high quality and they look elegant with a shiny feel, but their prices are also normally higher. In comparison, metal caskets, which are normally lesser expensive, come in copper, bronze, and stainless steel and can be found in an array of colours and designs.
Caskets made of eco friendly material are also becoming popular as people are becoming conscious of their responsibility to the environment to protect our planet. The material used in them is biodegradable and causes no damage to the ecosystem. If the departed person was a strong supporter of environment protection then this casket could be your last tribute to your loved one.
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A Grieving Family Can Get Great Support From A Good Funeral Director
Funeral directors provide support when families are distraught with grief after the death of a family member or a close relative. They manage the entire planning and implementation of the proceedings, allowing family members some much needed time and space to mentally accept the sad occasion and grieve with their friends and relatives.
The task of a funeral director encompasses various responsibilities starting from making preparations to bring over the deceased's body from the morgue or the residence to its place of burial or cremation. All sorts of documentation and necessary paperwork involved in the process, like getting a death certificate, getting all the permissions, organ donation etc comes under the purview of the funeral director.
Providers of all required services for the funeral, like flowers, music, catering etc should also be managed effectively by the funeral director. He is the one responsible to publish obituary and funeral notices in newspapers and get in touch with family members, friends and well-wishers of the deceased to attend the funeral service.
After discussions with the family, the funeral director decides on a suitable date, venue and time for both the memorial service and the burial of the body. The visitation ceremony in which the family members of the departed are consoled by relatives and friends is also arranged for by him to a large extent. On the funeral day, his job finishes only after he oversees all ceremonies until the grave is finally sealed.
A funeral director must be sympathetic and committed to make sure of a smooth and well arranged for funeral service and help the grieving family sail through the hardest time of their lives. You must therefore ensure that the funeral director you wish to employ has appropriate licenses and enough experience. He should be known to perform his job sincerely rather than as a complete outsider who might charge you a lot and not offer the correct kind of services.
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The Main Duties Of A Funeral Director
to the final handling of the deceased's corpse.
There are four important duties of a funeral director, they are: (a) shifting of the corpse to the mortuary; (b) embalming and preparing the body for the ceremony; (c) arranging for the ceremonies for people to pay their last respects to the deceased and; (d) the last act of burial or cremation as per the beliefs of the family.
The tasks of a funeral director range from publishing obituaries in the local electronic and print media to arranging for a hearse to shift the body, in addition to other essential tasks like deciding the time and venue for holding the memorial service etc. In addition, funeral directors also take care of things like arrangements of flowers and bouquets for each service, anointing and dressing the body, arrangement for transportation of the family and relatives from one service to another etc.
Apart from these jobs, a funeral director has to take care of the job of doing the mandatory paperwork formalities needed following a person's death. He helps in obtaining a proper death certificate for the deceased. He also makes preparations to settle any insurance claims, and helps the family in applying for seniors' burial benefits. He can also arrange for the clearance of any annuities or pensions that the family is entitled to get, and provides tips to the family on management of funeral expenses.
In addition, a funeral director has to coordinate with a wide range of people so that he can perform his jobs in a systematic way. He has to deal with not just the coffin makers and florists but also priests and doctors.
Finally, it is essential for funeral directors to give some extra time and offer comfort and relief to the suffering family of the departed, so that they can tide over their sorrow. Though some funeral directors neglect this responsibility, it is a critical aspect in a job like this.
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