There is no shortage on books filled with so-called expert advice on how to discipline your kids. But, for how do you know which methods are best for your kids? Well, with all due respect to these experts, I would argue that the person who knows your children best is you.

I believe that all children are different and may require different methods of discipline. The advice of experts is always useful, but must be combined with your own first-hand knowledge of your child.

Take time outs, for example. This may work well on one child, but not at all well on another child.

I have a friend whose child defies all of the rules she places on him. When he started biting, she asked me what she should do. I told her every method I know of, but as she tried each one, each one failed on her child. What she hadn’t done was take the time to understand her own child and what might work best for him.

Children must learn about rules and consequences. To fail to discipline a child at all for breaking the rules is really doing a disservice to him or her.

It is never appropriate to use discipline that is harmful to the child. Acts of harm teach anger, they do not teach life tools.

Try to keep the discipline to something that actually teaches consequences for the behavior. For example, will sitting in a corner while you clean marker off a wall really teach them how hard it is to get marker off of a wall? Having the child clean the wall is a more appropriate punishment, because the consequence is directly related to the behavior.

Discovering the most appropriate disciplinary technique for your child is not always easy. But with patience and observation, you’ll get there, and raised a child who understands consequence.

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