Is There A Process Of Grieving?
Grieving is our natural means of responding to loss. Grief is the pain you experience when you lose something that or someone who is an essential part of your life.
Several instances of mourning for the loss of someone or something are as follows:
- a breakup with someone you have a relationship with - you lost your job - you missed the opportunity to pursue your dream - you learn that someone very close to you is diagnosed with a deadly disease - the hospital test results came in and your physician informs you that you are suffering from a serious illness - your spouse wants a divorce - you destroyed the trust of your best friend - a pet passes away - the person you love dies suddenly
The scenarios enumerated earlier can all cause a person to go through a time of anguish. Of all the examples mentioned earlier, we experience the most intense anguish if a loved one - be this a son or daughter, a parent, or a spouse - passes away. Nothing of this world can remove the emptiness that is created by their death.
Our whole lives, we may have made the individuals who died the core of our own universe. So life is now never the same as it were when our loved ones were still with us. We grieve for what has been taken from us. Yet, in grieving, we have the promise of being able to heal our pains and strengthen our lives to move forward once more.
There are no hard and fast instructions on how we must grieve. Yet we must opt for safe ways to channel grief, which can encourage the healing that we need after experiencing loss.
It is common presumption that grief should be expressed by crying our hearts out every time we remember our loved ones who passed away. Crying is not the only sign that we are mourning the loss of a loved one. A person could be stoic yet deep inside the waves of strong emotions are roiling.
Grieving does not have a time limit, such as the "recommended" time of just 1 year. The span of the grieving process will be different for one individual compared with another. No one has to be forced and "get over" the grief that they are feeling. Time heals all pains and wounds.
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What Is The Importance Of Having Funerals?
When a person we cherish passes away so suddenly, our initial reactions would be shock and disbelief. Usually, it is very tough to come to terms with the demise of a loved one.
Then, when the shock has worn off, it is replaced by deep sorrow. It can be very hard to create decisions, most especially with how to go about with the funeral arrangements for their departed loved one.
The devastating pain one experiences after losing a loved one through death can incapacitate the person from making preparations for an appropriate funeral service for their departed loved ones.
Sometimes, well-meaning relatives and friends will manage the job of preparing the funeral service. Often, these people, well-intentioned though they are, would want to hurry the process of having the funeral and burying the body so as to not cause the bereaved more suffering. Usually, funerals prepared this way fails to give due honor to the life of the one who passed away.
Funeral directors recognize a grieving family's vulnerability at the time of demise of their loved ones. This is a delicate moment, where a grieving family's emotions will be at their rawest. It is the bereaved's final opportunity to pay their respects to someone they cherish.
In order to have a efficient flow of the funeral service that is to the preference of the bereaved family, the funeral director must closely consult with the bereaved. Then, it is in the hands of the funeral director to see to it that the bereaved family's specifications are followed and that the remembrance of the life of the deceased will be as decent and as dignified as possible.
Funeral directors and funeral houses could also tak care of the particulars of fulfilling the state or country requirements if the bereaved or deceased had a special injunction for the burial (such as a sea burial, cremation, etc.).
For the bereaved family, the funeral is a way through which they can express their sorrow over the passing away of their loved ones. A funeral service is part of the course of healing the pain of loss when someone we love passes away.
The funeral is a way of saying goodbye and yet, also, a way of keeping the memories of those we love close to our hearts.
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Creating A Meaningful Tribute To A Departed Loved One
All the time, it is never effortless to quickly come to terms with the demise of a beloved. At this time, there is nothing that can replace the shared memories or the role that a departed loved one had in your life.
The seasons continue changing even after your beloved has been laid to rest, and you find yourself picking up the fragmented pieces of your life. You grieve for your loss - a wonderful person who was once an important part of your being now dead.
Grieving can quickly overcome the life of an individual who has lost a loved one. Taking action is 1 of the manners by which to come to terms with the sorrow that threatens to drown an individual. In so doing, the life of the loved one who has departed shall still be remembered and honored.
Making a memorial for a departed loved one is an action that helps you face your own sorrow. Almost all cultures have a manner of honoring the dead. It offers those who are in grief a seed of solace, support and comfort.
Several ways of commemorating the life of the departed is the grave marker, specially engraved with loving messages from you; works of art or musical compositions personally created by you can also be endearing tokens of commemoration; or you could hold a gathering at a particular place with a select friends who can give their best memories of the beloved who has passed away - with laughing and tears all around.
Sorrowing due to the death of a loved one is a very personal matter. Be tender with yourself and permit yourself different ways of dealing with your feelings. If you are an artist, you may express the sadness you are going through by painting, writing prose and poems or by creating your own music.
At this vulnerable period in your life, it is also a good thing to be around family and friends who can provide you support as you process your bereavement and sorrow.
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Suggestions On Finding The Right Casket
A funeral is a a sombre occasion for a family, and it is best to be prepared for dealing with it so you do not face hassles at the worst possible moment.Buying a casket is one of the most vital decisions when it comes to funerals, but not everyone know how to do so. Here are some advice you should take into account when it comes to buying a casket.
The first thing that has to be taken into account while buying a casket is the type of material that has gone into its make. You can choose from a variety of wooden or metal caskets that are available in a number of textures and colours. In wooden caskets, you have a choice of the kind of wood used, whereas for metal caskets, you can select a metal of your choice. While making a final decision on the kind of casket, you must consider not just the appearance but also the expenditure that you will have to make.
In terms of make, you can go for half couch or full couch, which determines the type of lid that the casket will have. In a half couch lid, only the upper half of the body can be exhibited, while the full couch provides a full view of the entire body.
You can even select caskets of different sizes. Thus you should be aware of the required dimensions, and whether you will need to get any customization done from the standard available size.
Another crucial factor is where you purchase the casket from. You can get it from a casket store or the local funeral home. Generally the prices are much higher in funeral homes. It is, therefore sensible to buy one from an online or offline store that exclusively deals in caskets. However you should remember that you might need to bear the cost of transportation of the casket from the shop and hence the distance of the store from your home is a crucial factor.
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Several Common Rituals In Christian Funerals
A funeral is either a State or a family ceremony, held to honor. It is essentially a series of related customs or rituals that are unique to one's religion or culture.
Majority of Christian funerals have rituals that can be categorized into 3 types of events - the visitation, funeral, and finally, the burial. From a ritualistic point of view, visitation and funeral rituals have much more importance and they are detailed below.
The first part is the visitation, when the body is placed in a casket for public viewing by relatives and other people in the gathering. The body is adorned in the finest attire and any jewels that belonged to the departed. Some cultures require embalming the deceased for the occasion, while others don't.
At the visitation, family members may also exhibit photographs taken of the departed while he was alive, or some valuable items that were very close to the dead person. Some families also play a video or run a slideshow from the lifetime of the deceased.
The visitation is followed by the second part of rituals, the memorial service, also known as funeral, and it is conducted in a church. The coffin is then brought to the church in a vehicle and the family and friends of the departed follow the hearse. The casket with its floral decoration is then housed inside the church.
Funeral services generally include chants and readings from the Bible or the Holy Scriptures. Those attending the funeral also sing religious songs. Then the presiding pastor gives a speech, which is closely followed by eulogies given by the family and relatives of the departed who reflect upon the life, accomplishments and good nature of the dead person. Sometimes, mourners are permitted to view the deceased for the last time before it is taken for burial. The service might be preceded and followed by gonging of church bells.
The completion of second part, which is the funeral, marks the beginning of the burial, which is the final stage of the proceedings, and the deceased's body is taken through a funeral cortege.
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Buddhist Funeral Customs And Their Significances
The core of Buddhist religion, practiced in many countries the world over, comes from the basic teachings of the Buddha. Buddhism demands mercy & love for mankind and fruition of the Ultimate Truth.
These teachings of Buddhism can be seen in the rites practiced in a Buddhist funeral. When a Buddhist person dies, in order to guarantee that their soul gets to a higher level in their next life, mandatory rituals should be observed. To guarantee the deceased's deliverance from this birth and bidding them the best for their next, prayers are said to invoke the positive energies of the dead.
The first task in funeral rites is that of giving a traditional wash to the body. Monks are asked to read out from religious scriptures, and these chants are believed to give the deceased the right guidance to achieve spiritual freedom. The Lord Buddha's teachings, which speak of the value of practising virtue and compassion in life, are recited aloud. Meanwhile, the body is made ready for the last journey. The deceased is generally provided with some money put in his casket by the family. This is to pay for the deceased's journey across the River of Three Hells.
Afterwards, the casket is exhibited to the near and dear ones to enable them to pay their respects by putting it at the altar. Attendees are expected to pray for the dead person and the family and friends give their condolences. The ceremony is accompanied with recitation of relevant sutras by the monks. After the completion of recitals, people present at the ceremony bow at the altar. After the proceedings, the family members of the deceased give out gifts to the attendees for sharing their grief.
Once these rituals are over, the family can decide to cremate or bury the deceased based on their family beliefs. In all, the rituals aim to bring a sense of peace and acceptance to the grieving family while praying to promote the departed to a higher state of knowledge and enlightenment.
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A Brief Guide To Funerals
Death in the family is a traumatic experience, which can make preparing for the funeral emotionally tough. But like majority of unpleasant things in life, it must be dealt with, and you will need to make some preparations for the funeral service. Most funeral homes offer their professional help related to making preparations for the funeral and they can give you assistance, but you must remember some things as well.
A funeral is a reflection of a person's life and it must be carried out accordingly. Most funeral homes do not hesitate to make slight alterations in their standard procedure for funeral services for incorporating certain cultural or religious practises of the departed and of his or her family members.
Visitation is the first phase of the procedure and it can roll over from a span of a few hours to days. Here, the dead person is fondly remembered by his family and friends. The next phase is formal funeral proceedings at any site like a church, a chapel, a mortuary or any other place that had a special value for the deceased person. However, you must ensure that you have hired a funeral coach, if the venue of the funeral is at some distance.
Once this is over, the family and relatives arrive at the cemetery for the next phase of the funeral. This can be managed by either a family member of the deceased or a priest based on the preference of the family. Certain matters need to be focused on at this stage including the person who will lead the service, if some favourite items of the deceased will be displayed, and the kind of flowers used.
The burial is the final part of the service, and its location will depend on the burial tradition of the family or personal preference of the departed. The deceased can be buried in family plots or in mausoleums, or be cremated after which their ashes can be scattered where they had intended.
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A Funeral Director’s Major And Minor Responsibilities
The funeral director is the person that takes care of the arrangements in the cremation or burial of a deceased person, including the funeral rites that are held before the burial or cremation.
The funeral director has four main tasks, namely: (a) transforming the corpse to the mortuary; (b) embalming and preparing the body for the funeral ceremony; (c) preparing the services so people can pay their last respects to the departed, and; (d) the final act of cremation or burial, depending on the customs of the family.
The responsibilities of a funeral director vary from posting obituaries in the print and electronic media to arranging for a hearse to carry the body, besides other planning tasks like deciding the timings and venue for holding the memorial service etc. Further, funeral directors have to arrange flowers and have the decoration carried out for each service, arrange for vehicles for the assembled people and dress up the deceased for the service after embalming it.
Other than these tasks, a funeral director also takes care of the essential paperwork that forms a part of the formalities following a person's death. He helps in obtaining a proper death certificate for the deceased. He also shoulders the responsibility of settling insurance claims for the family as well as helping them take advantage of schemes like veteran's burial support. He also solves issues related to clearance of pension and annuities of the deceased person to the lawful beneficiary and aids the family to come up with a budget for the ceremony.
He also has to associate with many people and needs to coordinate with different people for effectively performing his jobs. He has to interact with doctors, pastors, casket makers and flower sellers, all with equal ease.
Finally, it is essential for funeral directors to work beyond their normal schedule and offer comfort and relief to the suffering family of the departed, in order to help them tide over their grief. Some funeral directors overlook this important aspect, but it is an important part of their service nevertheless.
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Qualities & Attributes Vital To Be A Successful Undertaker
Arranging and organizing funerals are usually are taken care of by funeral directors, better known as undertakers. The following are skills and qualities undertakers need to to be able to succeed in this profession.
Because of the nature of their job, undertakers should be able to work any hour of the day. Spending a lot of time outdoors is also needed in this profession.
An undertaker should be an excellent communicator and a patient listener. With clients hailing from many religions, cultures and communities he must be able to communicate with and manage each one of them efficiently. A sensitive and compassionate attitude will be of excellent help in this job. However, he must be mentally strong and not become shaken by other people's grief, so that he can offer emotional support to them.
Although the job is by nature sombre and serious, the undertakers must bring dignity and serenity to the proceedings instead of more sorrow or sadness through their attitude.
By nature, undertakers must not be narrow minded. They should be ready to respect the faith and beliefs of all any communities and must be learned in this area. As various people follow various funeral customs and rituals, it is better to have knowledge of these.
A good undertaker will essentially possess good management abilities and organisation skills. Making arrangements for essential services like flowers, ceremonies etc will involve communication with several providers and will require leadership and management abilities.
As the undertaker will be in charge of obtaining all clearances and following all regulations with respect to the ceremony, he will have to be well versed in such procedures and legal formalities. The necessary regulations and formalities to be followed to get a death certificate or to make valid insurance claims should also be known to him.
Lastly, an undertaker should make sure that his driver's licence is regularly updated and that he can drive the hearse or funeral limousines during the ceremony.
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Rites And Rituals In Traditional Funeral Services
Funeral rites the world over are characterized by many customs and rites. Funerals give a chance to the bereaved to pay their last respects for a departed loved one and cope with their loss.
Church rules govern Christian funerals. However, as there are over 200 different Christian community offshoots, there may be several differences in their own types of funeral rites.
The very first ritual in a Christian funeral that is conducted before the actual ceremony relates to assembling around the dead person for a night and reciting prayers for the dead. This significant tradition is known as wake. According to present day practices, this is the stage where acquaintances and family members see the deceased for the final time and offer their heartfelt respects. The body is carefully preserved and placed either at the house or in a Church with only a particular number of visiting hours. In olden days, the deceased used to be absolved of his sins of this birth by carrying out the process of absolution after wake. This involved placing a cross on the deceased's chest and offertory in the casket, where gifts offered were kept.
Next comes the main ceremony, which begins with the bringing of the deceased's body to the Church in a hearse and is succeeded by recitation of hymns and prayers from the Holy Bible. After this, the priest asks a relative or a friend to give a eulogy before the burial. In some cases funeral rituals include the tolling of bells to mark the end of the ceremony. Following the funeral proceedings, the casket is carried to the burial site where a burial service is held before the act of burial.
Finally, the family members arrange for a lunch gathering for everyone who has attended the funeral. The prime purpose of this custom is to share the sorrow of the bereaved family and help them deal with the irreparable loss.
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